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Because I said so

posted Apr 30, 2016, 1:11 PM by Viktor Zólyomi   [ updated Feb 20, 2017, 10:56 AM ]
The ultimate be all end all argument closer, "because I said so", is often used by bad teachers, irresponsible husbands, and anyone under the age of five. The irony is that none of these people have any idea where this phrase originates.

In the year 1902, then Mayor of Con City Howard Jackson, not related to infamous Hollywood film producer Rick Jackson, commissioned the reinforcement of the flood barriers protecting Con City. The construction came upon pressure by local merchants who feared that their warehouses by the river were at risk from flooding, having found the river level a mere three inches below the existing flood barrier just the year before. Mayor Jackson thus ordered the flood barriers to be raised by ten whole inches.

Much of the public felt that the new flood barriers would be inadequate, and argued that no law existed that would prevent the river from rising above that barrier. In response Mayor Jackson brought into force a law that prohibits the river level from rising above the flood barrier. When criticized for his decision, the Mayor famously said that, "the water would not dare to rise above this level, because I said so."

As recorded extensively in the history books, the Great Flood of 1903 came just the next year and completely destroyed Con City, leading to the eventual reconstruction and redesign of the entire city. Mayor Jackson, instead of resigning from office, fined the river for breaking his controversial law. Over a century removed from the incident, the river is yet to pay its debt to the City, and every few years a desperate lawyer trying to make a name for himself attempts to threaten the river with a complete repossession of all its properties if it continued to refuse to pay the fine. Fortunately for all the tax paying citizens of Con City, none of the judges at the City Hall ever take these cases seriously. Incidentally, in the spirit of legal precedents, these judges always justify their stance on the matter with the words "because I said so."