Love On The Air With Doctor Walker

posted Mar 7, 2018, 3:38 PM by Viktor Zólyomi
The following article by Jonathan Parker was originally published in the Con City Times

By day, Doctor Terrence Walker works as a psychiatrist for Greenwell Police; his job is to help police officers through times of mental stress. By night, he spreads love on the airwaves to the lonely souls of Greenwell.

`Love On The Air With Doctor Walker is one of our most popular programs,' says Michael Josephson, owner of Green City Radio. `The show has been running for three years and we get more callers every week. We're very happy to have Doctor Walker.'

The unlikely combination of being a police psychiatrist and a matchmaker seems to have worked out well for Doctor Walker, who believes there is great synergy between his two occupations.

`It's all about getting to know people,' he explains. `In my line of work, we dig deep into the psyche of our patients, we come to understand them better than they understand themselves. It is the only way to truly help them overcome the burden of all the horrible things they see in the field. Helping people find love follows the same principles. If we understand who they really are, inside, we can match them up with compatible people. I'm actually surprised no other police psychiatrist moonlights as a matchmaker.'

The idea of working on the side while trying to maintain the mental health of the police force may seem out of place in the county that tourist guides call `the most violent plot of land in the Republic of North America,' but in Greenwell itself the situation is not quite that dire.

`I don't get a lot of work at the police station, in fact,' Doctor Walker states. `Greenwell is one of the safest places in Con County. We do have violent crime, but nothing like in Con City or Brickton, and our police force has the very best specialist task force in the country. The most mentally damaging incidents normally involve brawls in the audience at the live events of the Greenwell Bullfighting Organization, and such riots don't happen more than twice a year. It's easy to find the time to help out lonesome souls on the air.'

The success of the program, during which singles call into the show to talk to Doctor Walker who then determines which callers are compatible with each other and facilitates first contact between them, has been recognized by the Con County Television Broadcasting Association. The CCTBA, albeit not very popular with radio audiences due to their opinion of radio in general, do still hand out annual awards for the best programs on both television and radio channels. Love On The Air With Doctor Walker has won the Best Live Dating Show award, even beating the televised and immensely popular Joe's Gonna Kiss You, which has taken a hit in ratings after serial killer Joseph Dodgson, better known as Flamer Joe, escaped from Con City Penitentiary, and thereby stepped down from his duties of hosting the show live via satellite from his cell.

`We are all very proud of Doctor Walker's success, and we are grateful to the CCTBA for their recognition,' Michael Josephson says. `Especially against such stiff competition like Joe's Gonna Kiss You. Then again, such controversial programs shouldn't be given awards, no matter how popular they may be.'

Despite the critical words of the Green City Radio owner towards the competition, Doctor Walker's show is no stranger to controversy, either. Reports state that of the more than five thousand people who have called into the show during the three years it's been on the air, a significant fraction of one hundred and ninety-six have gone missing, all of them within a month of calling into the show. While Greenwell Police have found no evidence of foul play in the disappearances, members of the press have called attention to the uncomfortable statistics. Doctor Walker has chosen to address the matter, stating his belief that the string of missing persons cases connected to his program is just a coincidence.

`It is of course very sad because we will perhaps never know how or why these people went missing, whether they are even still alive, but as cruel as it may sound, this is just the way of life,' Doctor Walker argues. `Sometimes, love finds you. Sometimes, something else does. That shouldn't stop anyone from looking for love on my show.'

Those of you who would like Doctor Walker's help to find love can call him on Love On The Air With Doctor Walker between 8 PM and 11 PM every Monday and Friday. Calls are recorded and callers are required to leave their name, phone number, and home address with Doctor Walker, who will treat all personal information with complete confidentiality.