Enlightened Criminal

posted Jul 17, 2017, 2:56 AM by Viktor Zólyomi
The following article by Jonathan Parker was originally published in the Con City Times

Several months passed since the violent yet profoundly unsuccessful robbery at the Bright Rocks jewelery store in Downtown Con City, which left two police officers critically injured during the getaway of the would-be robbers. Of the two culprits, one wore a ski mask while the other wore no mask and was garbed in an easily identifiable checkered suit. The latter criminal, Randall Lee, better known as Randall the Jerk, revealed himself to the public within a week of the robbery in an interview for the Con City Times, in which he gave up a surprising amount of information, including the name and appearance of his masked associate, Jules the Monk. After the interview, Randall Lee disappeared and police forces failed to locate either him or his associate. The Bright Rocks jewelery store chose to invest in extensive security measures in preparation for their upcoming reopening. Meanwhile, just three days ago, a bald man matching the description provided by Randall Lee and claiming to be Jules the Monk unexpectedly gave himself up to the authorities at the Downtown Police Precinct.

Although the Con City Police Department could not confirm his identity, they did determine that the man's build matched that of the masked figure in the security camera footage from the jewelery store. During his initial interrogation the suspect refused to explain himself unless members of the press were allowed to participate. The Captain of the Downtown Police Precinct decided to comply, despite disapproval of several of his Detectives.

`I wish to set the record straight,' Jules the Monk said in his opening statement. `I want the truth out there. I don't want the city to have a false impression of me based on the words of a useless waste of space like Randall the Jerk. I have not come here out of regret or some illusions of morality. I chose to give myself up in the name of enlightenment.'

The suspect went on to explain that his choice of the word `enlightenment' had been deliberate. He did not simply mean that in terms of shedding light on the truth, but also in the sense of spirituality.

`I have chosen to embrace enlightenment. I wish for a life devoid of violence. It is why I have chosen not to chase Randall the Jerk, despite that after he ratted me out in his interview I should blow his brains out on general principle. I expect you'll find him and hand him his due punishment soon enough, anyway.'

Jules the Monk, true to the principles of a career criminal, refused to divulge the location of Randall Lee despite their apparent grudge. He did, however, offer insight into the nature of their working relationship.

`I owed him a favor,' he said in an embarrassed tone. `I shall not provide specifics, but a year ago I and my crew at the time found ourselves in need of a getaway driver, and Randall was the only man available for the job. We took his help, despite the fact that everyone knew he couldn't drive, but it was either that or letting him have a gun, and we knew better than to do that. It had been a poor decision, as only he and I walked away from the wreckage after he crashed us into a concrete wall, but he technically did get us away from the police, and I'm a man of my word, so when he asked me to help him with the jewelery store in return for his help, I did. And you know how that one went.'

During the now infamous robbery, Randall the Jerk shot up the store with a shotgun despite cooperation from the store clerk, and both he and Jules the Monk were forced to vacate the premises without any jewelery. On their way out, Jules gunned down two police officers who wound up in hospital in critical condition, but have since recovered and will be returning to active duty soon. Jules the Monk offered no apology for his actions during the robbery.

`I know where to shoot a man if I want him to die, I know where to shoot him if I want him to live, and I don't miss,' he said instead. `Of course they survived. I don't like it when innocent bystanders or policemen die. Why do you think I shot them in the first place? If I hadn't, Randall would have, with the shotgun, and although there's a very high probability that he'd have missed, I did not want to take the chance that he wouldn't.'

After repeatedly refusing to provide the whereabouts of Randall Lee or any useful information about him, Jules the Monk was told in no uncertain terms that he could expect a very harsh sentence at his impending trial. In response, the suspect shook his head and offered a brief explanation.

`I'm not here to make deals or rat out my peers, not even that scumbag Randall the Jerk,' he said. `I simply came to explain to the world why a professional was forced to work with a complete amateur, and to assure you all that this would never happen again. As a matter of fact, as soon as I get out of here, I will leave the life of crime behind and dedicate my existence to reaching true enlightenment.'

When the suspect was told that he would not be getting out for a very long time, he simply smiled and bowed, then refused to say another word.

The next day his cell was found empty, its door locked, the key laid on the floor in the center of the cell. The police have since resumed their search for both Jules the Monk and Randall Lee. The Captain of the Downtown Police Precinct gave his personal guarantee to the public that the pair would be found and brought to justice. Meanwhile the Bright Rocks jewelery store is considering hiring private military contractors to provide additional security for their upcoming reopening which is scheduled to take place in just two days.
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